Is there anything this guy can’t do? After stitching the flag he’s going to teach a box of orphan kittens how to Dougie.

And the winner for best security system of all time goes to… Grandma. 

I’d rather swim through a moat filled with Mountain Dew Code Red and face a rabid guard Giraffe that sneezes laser beams than walk into this den of madness.

From the Submitter: Welcome to my grandma’s house.  Believe it or not, there’s an entire set of furniture including a couch, loveseat, and table underneath all of those dolls.

If you need this book, than it’s probably too late. 

Oh, so you went down to the basement to literally ’polish your rocks.’

Phew. Ok, Dad, crisis averted.  

Someone loves Lucy so much that her estate has filed for an order of protection. But as they say, true love knows no bounds. 

Who needs an alarm system when you have this in your dining room?

Oh yeah, one more thing.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THAT IS SACRED, PLEASE GET THIS THING ANOTHER SHOE!  

From the Submitter: This little treasure is called Precious and she/it belongs to my mother. I wish I could tell you that I propped her/it on the shelf for picture taking purposes…but…that’s where Precious sits, on top of the rarely used wine rack, in between some never used tea cups. The doll, the wine, the cups, all part of the charming decor. 

School lunches have gotten a little bland. 

The Four Magi- Melchior, Caspar, Balthasar and Regis- came bearing gifts of Gold, Frankincense, Myrrh and the chance to win a whole lot of CASH!

It’s like one giant fork when all you need is a trident. Isn’t it Ironic… don’t you think?