I guess on the outside we’re all nice old ladies with balls of yarn, but on the inside we’re just a bunch of mechanical parts that break when we eat pennies. 

Whoa. 

Nothing about this strikes me as “clean”. 

Let us pay homage to Clorox, God of Sanitation, who shall smite the Earth of cold and flu viruses with the wrath and fury that only a moist towelette can bestow.

There is no shower in there. Just dozens of cats waiting to clean you. 

Even though I know this product will more than likely give me cancer instantly, I will use it because microwave models were hot in the 70’s and I love magic.