Because an old white man breaking into your house wasn’t creepy enough. 

Hope everyone survived the holidays! Remember, there’s no better way to say thank you to that family member (Mother-In-Law, cousin, weird uncle Frank) who gave you a crappy gift or reminded you of a painful childhood memory than to take some pictures of their crap!

 You can submit them here or by emailing crapatmyparentshouse@gmail.com!

I stand corrected, there are creepier things than clowns.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get back to screeming into my pillow.

You know how some people are all “well, it looked good on paper?” And you’re like, “literally or figuratively?” And then they’re like, “I don’t get it,” and you’re like “yeah, that’s because you just made a paper-mache human,” and then they’re all like, “So?” And you’re like, “what’s wrong with you?” And they’re like “sometimes I drink too much Midori in the afternoon” and you’re like “what’s that?” And then they’re like, “it’s melon liqueur” and you’re like “gross” and they’re like “wanna hang out?” And you’re like “no, I’m busy that day.”

Yeah. This is like that.

From the submitter: The sister I never had.

Because sitting on Santa’s lap wasn’t creepy enough. 

Hey, put that hat back on, this isn’t Mennonites Gone Wild. 

The stars and stripes will stab you at night… deep in the heart… of Texas. 

But in all seriousness, Happy 4th of July Everyone!

Oh yeah, here’s a note from the submitter: His name is Alowishus, my dad’s from when he was three. Um, that’s my coat from when I was three. I don’t why they are in the same place.

Looking at this doll just makes me want to go play a fun game of hide and seek. 

In order to clean the crawl space you must first answer questions three.

Hey Elephant, Why don’t you take a picture? It’ll last longer!

Oh, you don’t have fingers… My Bad.

Contrary to popular belief, an apple a day does not keep the doctor away. 

Note from the submitter: Apple head doll kept since I was in 5th grade.