Crazy like a fox. Well, more like Crazy like a fox who’s sitting-on-a-dog-that’s-also-a-rocking-chair-in-front-of-a-fireplace-while-wearing-a-fox-hunting-jacket-no-not-the-dog-the-fox-is-wearing-the-jacket-because-he’s-that-kind-of-crazy-and-wants-to-prove-that-being-crazy-like-a-fox-is-really-really-insane.  

Point taken.

See the dog burried in my parents’ Raggedy Ann doll collection? He’s buried in there along with our dignity. 

Do you know why this clown is smiling and rubbing his belly? Because he just ate a box of puppies.

“Awww, Sad”, you might be thinking. Well, I’ll have you know, it was those puppies that ate his lower half. So, it’s not sad, it’s revenge. 

“I’m. Freaking. Out.” 

Gentlemen. Let us put our hands together and meditate for the demise of cats everywhere. When we have finished, guacamole will be served in the bowl before us. 

Aww! Get it? ‘Cause when you hang a suit on it, it looks like a dog is wearing it. Then you go to your job and try to jump out the window cause the dog’s spirit haunts whatever it touches. 

We have never had a dog.