You know why people don’t drink Creme De Banana?

Because their bottles have monkeys holding giant banana boners. And if there’s one thing I hate in this world, it’s monkeys holding banana boners. And tapas. I really hate tapas.

I’m pretty sure this type of “monkey business” is illegal in almost every state. 

I’d kiss you but you’re so damned ugly.

Also, that eye thing you got going on is kind of creeping me out. And you smell like bananas and rum. And we just met.

So to summarize, we will not be kissing. 

Speak no evil. Hear no evil. See no evil. Throw no poop. 

Ah Yes! The coconut with the monkey face of death carved in it. “Have fun” you say? If by that inscription you mean, “have horrible never ending night terrors” then yes, yes I will. 

(submitted by Tiffany N.)