Nothing brings the family together like listening to little old time radio while avoiding eye contact with the personification of murder.  

Why do we have a “stabbing drawer” in our kitchen? Let’s just say taco tuesdays can get a little out of hand. 

The stars and stripes will stab you at night… deep in the heart… of Texas. 

But in all seriousness, Happy 4th of July Everyone!

Oh yeah, here’s a note from the submitter: His name is Alowishus, my dad’s from when he was three. Um, that’s my coat from when I was three. I don’t why they are in the same place.

Looking at this doll just makes me want to go play a fun game of hide and seek. 

What did the ventriloquist say to his dummy? Nothing, because the dummy murdered him in his sleep.

Either way, someone’s getting stuffed in a trunk.

You know why they’re smiling? Because they just murdered a squirrel. 

Apparently, an acorn is just a nut with a murderous grin. 

Turn off the lights and go back to a time and place filled with rainbows and unicorns and where even the simplest cut could kill you due to a total lack of antibiotics. 

(Hailelovesyourface.tumblr.com)

He’s not wearing a themed bandana. He’s flashing his gang allegiance.

He had to kill 9 cats to earn that thing. 

My mom is a big Jackie Collins fan. She wrote her a letter. In Danielle Steel’s blood. 

Gray skies are gonna clear up, so put on a murderous grin.