Just because he’s dead and stuffed doesn’t mean he can’t try to spread a little holiday cheer to those less fortunate. 

Because sitting on Santa’s lap wasn’t creepy enough. 

Is there anything this guy can’t do? After stitching the flag he’s going to teach a box of orphan kittens how to Dougie.

This year, give the gift that keeps on giving: Rabies. 

HO! HO! HO! Merry Chr-IMGONNAEATYOURFACEOFF! 

All I want for Christmas is legs. 

Hey, reindeers don’t live forever. 

Santa was gonna get you an Xbox Kinect, as per your request. But you see Timmy,  Santa maxed out his Discover Card on this gold jacket. So here’s a stuffed bear and a small Christmas tree. No, Santa didn’t realize you already had a tree. And no, it’s not obsolete, plenty of places take Discover. 

Just a friendly reminder that the submission deadline for the book is Dec 28th…. ‘Tis the season to put out all our best crap on display.  

Submitting is easy- http://crapatmyparentshouse.com/submit

Santa Claude van Damme. Here comes Santa, Looking for justice.

So does beheading someone automatically take you off the nice list? Or is that something a jury of your peers decides?